Gaara’s Game of Gullibility

by RantMan Rick


Of DB & Friends

Feeling parched from the summer sun, Gaara strolled into a bar.

It was his first time going here because the location was quite far.

He walked inside with stoic steps and found a seat to claim.

The patrons talked amongst themelves, afraid to speak his name.

With towel in hand the bartender looked at Gaara with nervous shake.

“So you’re the jinchuriki with a heart of sand who only wishes to take?”

Gaara looked up slowly from his chair at this new intolerant worm.

Anger began to boil and fill his blood as his rage commenced to churn.

“I desire only drink and silence,” he spoke with a low tone growl.

“You’re misunderstandings and ignorant mind mean nothing to me,” he scowled.

“I don’t like your kind, you’re a nuisance boy jinchuriki cause only destruction.”

Gaara clenched his fist as his gourd began to bubble in frenzy at this reduction.

Then he smiled with a cunning and sadistic grin as a plan began to hatch.

He rose to his feet looked at the bartender and said, “I’ll be right back.”

Walking to the pool table, he spoke to three patrons with words inaudible from afar.

Then turned around, gathered himself and strolled back to the bar.

“I have a wager,” the shinobi began, “if you are willing to take it.”

“What kind of wager,” said the bartender, “eagerly awaiting to make it.”

“I bet you 1,000 ryo that I can take a piss

and get every drop inside that bottle without a single miss.”

The bartender smiled at this proposition, beliving his win to be sure,

Completely unaware of what his ego would soon endure.

“You’re on,” he said as Gaara readied and loosened up his pants.

Just before letting his liquid rip, he gave the pool players a glance.

He let his pee go wild and free and up and down he throttled.

Getting drops of piss on every single thing except the bottle.

Upon the bartender, upon his face Gaara’s yellow juice did spray.

The patrons stood in awe and wonder, watching the fluid fly where it may.

When he was done the bartender stood drenched in a pissy shower.

He laughed and cackled as he wiped his face, reveling in his new-found power.

“You owe me 1,000 ryo…you jinchuriki scum!

I never thought taking a monster’s money would be so much damn fun!”

Gaara fixed his pants, reached in his pocket and produced the winner’s prize,

Then walked back to the pool patrons, their faces brimming with surprise.

They each reached down into their pockets and produced huge wads of pay.

Gaara grabbed his earnings and made his exit as he heard the bartender say,

“That’s right, I’ve won!” the owner yelled and Gaara replied, “I doubt it.”

“Because I bet each of those three,

2,5000 ryo a piece,

that I could piss on your bar, piss on your cups, piss on your food and piss on YOU….


– Inspired by Pulp Fiction

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